The Loss of Inocence

Yesterday I went to meet my Mormon friends.
They are the two missionaries I met by chance, two nice talkative interesting girls. We have been meeting regularly for a month and we have talked about many things. Many times about Philosophy and other about their travelling memories, and mine. they have showed me a bit of what they do in their church. I though: regular and normal. Nice, wasn't it?

Well, yesterday they wanted to talk to me about Christ and the Holy Ghost, an Baptism. They started saying so many good things about it.. . They even got me to pray with them. Now, for those of you who know me, this is terribly uncommon, me being a quite convinct atheist. But, what are gonna do? I got excited, it was meant to get me that way!

Of course I got back to normal in a couple of hours. I started re-examining my feelings, my believes and understood the manipulation. I got angry.

SERIOUSLY?! I am a friendly, rational Philosophy student, sure of myself and with a great spirit of tolerance, not a fool and certainly not a person to be brain washed. I thought, let's make some friends, learn about other religions, exchange some arguments and ... BAMM! I get a "Why no to baptise?" conversation. Seriously, the world is a shameless place, even in the holy aspects of it.

After a small release of anger I am going back to adoring my own divinities, by my own rules 8I have a very strong porblem with obeying hierachies), with absolutely no guilt in me. I don't need to be purified, 'cause life is to be lived with stained shirts.

Now I am going up North to my grandmother's and I wonder : when will being who I am safe? Why do we have to loose faith in there being genuinely nice people coming along in your life? I used to believe, no in a God, but always in people, in dialogue and co-existence.What happened to dialogue and co-existence? Is this what people have become? Is this what people are?

Filipa, a desilusionned one

P.S. no offense to any religious people reading this: I still think being religious is very admirable and genuinely interesting
PPS. in the last post: "love in my room in Vancouver" is actually "live in". Just a correction.