#18 - This is the end, beautiful friend, the end

Saturday, the 30th May
Schipol Airport
Amsterdam, Holland
Dear Europe
4:10 PM 8local time)

Day 37
(...)
I slept 2 h on the plane and, in just some time, I'll meet my parents, my sister, speak my mother tongue and be in the country of my childhood. Finally.
But first a recap of events during this long final absence form these pages.

on the 22nd I got out of the hostel in Banff to see a sunny, sunny day in the Rockies. It was indeed a spectacular trip by bus, seeing B.C. in all its glory, with gorgeous weather. First stop was Lake Louise. Even though I like Banff better, the mountains there are breathtaking too. in between it was like paradise - the streams and the forests, and the mountains... (...) that morning I noticed the water in those rivers had a peculiar colour. It was very clear and blue, almost green. I had never seen water like that. (...) Golden was evry pretty. The mountains aligned there and my "neighbour" got on there. She was this lady in her 50's/60's lving in a ranch around Golden, but she was going to visit her fmaily in her hometown of Coquitlam. We spoke a bit. She admired my lace knitting and said I was very brave to travel on my own. She asked me what was the scraiets situation I had encountered. That was a good question. my answer was a clumbsy "none". The truth is, I didn't have any scary situations as the common "fear-myth" would make people think.

Roger's pass was amazing, in Glacier Park. That place rivals the Rockies. I wish I could have stopped there. The landscape soon started to change, as we went down the mounatins. Suddenly it all became hills of green grass, lakes and farms by the railway. The train was always next to the highway, the Trans-Canadian. i loved that region after Salmon Arm (...). We hit kamloops - which didn't seem a beuatiful place at all, confirming what other poeple had told me - and then I was too tired. And the mounatisn of Merritt were dull compared to their Eatern cousins. I noticed that they were heavily logged. A shame.

Then the Fraser Valley showed up and I couldn't wai to get back to Vancouver. Eventually there I was. Back to what now seemed more of a big colourful city to my hungry eyes.

What followed was a sort of limbo. By that time I was very homesick, more than now. I was tired. (...) I went to kitsilano , downtown and the Aquarium, all these things I wanted to enjoy without school in the way. And Vancouver felt different. I was alone strolling aroun (...). It felt like a place I was just passing through. It made me wonder if it is any more thna that at any rate. (...)

On Monday I went to my aunt's place (...). It was the real limbo - relaxing, but not home yet. (...)

What am I to conclude of this trip? In Vancouver - the limbo - I made so many reflections and evaluations (...) let's see if I can jot down some stufff.

1) I got to see some more of Canada - important and it makes me feel much better

2) made me loose fears. it was nto all nice but I managed alone . (...)

3) made me accept I need back up (...) I can do it but I can't deal with it all alone, and that's ok.

4) I did what I proposed myself to do. No vague dreaming no more. Life is too short, so you gotta do it. Bad or good.

5) New desires: get a driver's license, see Sasketchwan, move in with Kasia,...

6) Learned to be with myself. and I am quite entertaining.

7) Met characters and lived adventures - life is a story.

8) Laid the foundations for much more.

And it is in this way, jet-lagged but happy, that this trip comes to an end.

And the summer is only beggining...

Filipa


And while the plane took off, all I could hear was The Doors, listening to the most appropriate verses, each of them fully applying, fully touching the core of what I had seen, done and felt.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die