A night of wonder, happiness and excitment seen by old grumpy woman

I appologise. This is not a well thought of post, it is not that relevant and it is not that srtuctured.

It is 8:30 a.m. I got up na hour ago. I am sick, my throat hurts and my body ackes all over. I am eating cereals with some dubious milk that I was left on my fridge. I have to work on my Philosophy assignment and I don't want to right now. I just want a nice blanket, a warm room and somebody to make me a cup of tea. When you live alone, things suck when you're sick.

I realise that I live really too alone. People next door don't know me, don't care about me. I don't care much about them either. I am trying to change somewhere where that mutual lack of concern does nit hold.

I think I know now why people say, with that 50's voice "don't you want to have a loving husband and a nice loving family?". Yeah, when you're on your own at 7:30 a.m., sick and sleepy, it sounds verrryy alluring. Problem is, the people I know that followed that ideal are also in problematic and unhappy situations. Anyhow, you can't win.

This all starts sounding grumpy.

Well, I can tell about Saturday night. I went to meet my aunt and my cousin for lunch downtown. After that I went to a coffee shop where they were playing jazz and read some school stuff. And then I went and saw a François Truffaut double-bill! I could have seen a triple but I would be late to catch the last skytrain. Started off with 400 coups de vents. Very beautiful, and has haun ting meloody to it. Then I watched Tirez sur le Pianiste. It was such a good film, full of excitment and good scenes. I loved it. When I went out I felt so happy. People must have thought me crazy, in the middle of the night running thorugh the streets, jumping and imitating ballet dancers. I was happy, and no one on those streets knew me, so I was free to make a fool of myself. I was young, I was living in a most exciting city, the world was beautiful and I was too. I was proud to be 17, not ashamed anymore, I was proud and content. All the way in the skytrain I smiled. I couldn't stop smiling. It felt like I had just kissed someone I cared about. I felt a rush of energy, a feeling I was going to explode with happiness.

And when I went to bed on Saturday night, I dreamt of being in a movie by Truffaut.