The Canadian Dream

Here I am, in my room in SfU, Vancouver, Canada. It is a nice place, I cannot deny that.


I am listening to a CD a nice girl downstairs lent me. It sounds great.

Life if perfect....., or is it?

I arrived in this continent about a week ago. I attended Orientation and had my first class yesterday. I say to everyone at home it has been going perfect but it is not. Maybe it will get better, but this week was not that great.

University here is not exactly what I imagined and I woke up today with the thought that I might have made a mistake...

It is the yelling, the over-exicitment, the "high-school" movie like situations, the obsession with sex and alchool, the conversations I simply cannot get...
I have met some really nice people, but it is so hard to connect with them. I feel like a stranger, a sort of misplaced element. Just like when I was back in Portugal.

And so, as I sitt in my bed, alone in my room, I look out the window. From here I can see around 20 other rooms, in a very voyeuristc way, I must say. I look at all of them and I wonder: will I ever belong here?

This was never a big question, because I never belonged anywhere before my Norwegian chapter. But suddenly, I want to belong, to feel good where I live, comfortable and happy. I want to be able to wake up with a smile and feel therw would be no other place to be than where I am.

I went to my French class yesterday. The teacher was wonderful, a friendly lady from Vietnam with a true passion for her profession. I understood all she said. The students, on the other hand, were sooo hard to get (American acent...). But more than pronunciation, I really felt very odd. I was probably the youngest there, one of the few first years. I was the only international. Well, I know this does not sound like a reason to worry. Probably in another week it will be much better. Meanwhile, the sounf of European French makes me feel good and comforts my soul.

And yet, I spend my mornings in my room, looking out and wondering how cold it is. When I get out for lunch I get lost in the crowd and wonder silently to my room. This routine is broken by the fortunate encounters and meetings with some great people.

And yet, I am unsatisfied. Am I too impacient? Am I so hard to please?

Maybe.